[Public | Audio]

I felt for those people. To exist in the world that they ruined, to be satisfied in their appearance in comparison to others, they had to risk their lives and personalities. A person improves to impress others and to explore what they couldn't before, but in doing so these people rendered themselves nothing more than expendable parts. They sought survival, independence, and value and found addiction and worthlessness.

It was miserable.

[And what some parts of the Commonwealth had turned out like over time.]

I think I've been becoming too comfortable here. I need to start focussing again on rebuilding the civilization that I destroyed, and giving my friend his life back.

[Private to Vasilia | Text]

I need to know where you are. We need to talk. [He also has to check up on you.]


[Private to Amanda | Text]

How are you? Are you with her?


[Private to Gaeta | Text]

Are you recovering?


( Private to Braxiatel )

[Spam for Brax] *continued from here.

[He pulls back from Brax and shakes his head. But seeming to realize that Sherry might make a bolt for the open door, he steps inside and shuts it behind him, leaning back against it.]

We know good genes. We know who to approach to start a family with, we know who would be worth it. [And he'd had some doubts. He didn't ask Brax to join him until he'd reasonably assured himself he wouldn't take advantage of their daughter. That she would be safe with him in her life.

Their daughter. He supposed that's where the difference was. Rhade's daughter that would happen to have Brax's DNA, if he'd had to go and raise her on his own, or Brax's daughter as well.]

I didn't expect you to make me happy. [His tone is one of near disbelief that he actually is happy. All delight and stunned honesty. And he wanted to enjoy it before something monstrous popped out of the abyss and stripped it from him, as so often happened and he fully expected it to.]

[Private to Una | Audio]

Since it's the holidays and I'm going to try and get off early today, I was wondering if-

[There's a terrible rattle and a crash. And a childish giggle. Someone let their munchkin take the bottom pack from a soda display, and now there's a hissy sticky disaster happening.]

...Nevermind.

[Private to Mr. Braxton | Audio]

I believe we're going to have to do stock again, sir.


[*Gary H. Rhade is doomed to constant failure with his success. He's got two degrees (Philosophy and Education) and was a great at sports, and graduated from high school young. Yet he's overworked and underpaid, can't manage to ask a girl out, and can't manage to make his boss hang out and take it easy like a normal person. But he's generally a nice guy and doesn't really dislike anyone.]

[Rhade is sitting at the table in his room, picking up his Go stones from the black bowl and looking at each one carefully.]

One thing that I've always liked about Nietzscheans is our love of games.

To most humans, a game is a way of having fun, a way to keep one's skills honed or to simply wile away the time. But to a Nietzschean, a game is much more than that. A game is just as important as physical intimacy, honoring your parents, asserting yourself in the world, earning the respect of your Pride. A game is life, and to not play is death.

[He looks over the stone he's holding, thinking about it.] I could mention the more suggestive aspects of playing a game. But what's important is that every moment in our lives is a game. Every moment shows the worth our parents invested in us, the future of our children and nieces and nephews. Every moment demands respect, review, consideration, and to judge your opponent with the knowledge that you're being judged in return.

We didn't just pay attention to each other. When were matched off, we were engrossed in each other. We were aware of every facet, every flaw, every advantage the other person might have. The abnormal warmth of someone's hands. A cool and calm expression ruined by a thick swallow. The way someone's lower lip tugs in when they bite the inside of it in concentration. Whether it's coming to blows or guarding your side of a board.

[Sigh.] And in the end, we're stronger for it. We improve because of it. And for a time, quite a time, based out of that sort of conflict we forged relations because of it.

...But then again, here, they're still a good way to pass the time. [He tosses the stone back into the bowl.]

( Private to Brax and Trekverse Filter )

[Filtered to Warden Friends]

[Rhade just got done with a slightly unusual game of chess with Brax. He was given chess pieces made of ice that could melt so that the game had to be completed in a certain amount of time, and he knows that Braxiatel's hands are cooler so he admires that he came up with such a subtle and inventive way to gain an advantage. What he doesn't know is how much of an advantage.]

Will someone come with me up to the greenhouse?*


[Private to Braxiatel]

[Added later, after he's been brought back and talked to whoever he needed to.] I'm in the infirmary. Would you be so kind as to bring me a game for entertainment?


[*OOC: Rhade's going to die in or after stepping out of the greenhouse. So either someone can take him and leave him there, and someone else will find him later, or they can take him and he can die around them at some point. It will probably look coincidentally like the fault of a plant.]

( Private and Spam for Brax )

[Filtered to Friends and Warden | Video]

[After he's talked to Braxiatel, he decides he's sound enough to say he's back. He's changed out of his scorched uniform, so he's wearing one of his leather tunics now.]

I've returned. If you need me, I'll be in my room.

And I would like to skip my next work shift, if you don't mind.

[Private to Braxiatel | Audio]

[Have a Nietzschean style raising of concerns.] I was wondering if you would join me for a game.

Right now.

In my cabin.

Call it an unavoidable urge. [So that you may pass by your warden's room and confirm the unsettling noises from within. The eighth floor fails at wall, it seems.]

[Public | Audio]

I've mentioned a friend I once had. He was an idealist and possessed a sense of honor worthy of Pythias or Regulus, a man that would keep his word even if it led to his own destruction.

While I was still familiar with Nietzschean thought, for a short while he gave me the perspective of this man. I saw people differently. Some were more beautiful, some suddenly monstrous, and in myself attributes became flaws and flaws remained a weakness. That thing, whatever it was, gave me the world through Dylan's eyes. It gave me something that I had long wished to understand.

It came very close to destroying me. If this is what he feels, what others that share his beliefs feel, I do not envy them. I will happily remain cynical and wary, and leave the acts of adulated heroism to you. If I said something to you during that week? ...It was meant. Even if the words were wrenched out of me against my will. So I would prefer you keep them to yourself.

[Private to Braxiatel and the scarfed Doctor | Audio]

Thank you for not allowing me to go through with that. It was foolish and I consider myself in your debt. [This part is true.] I no longer have the concerns that were bothering me at that time. [That part is a lie. He does feel that way. But it's no longer something that he's willing to destroy himself over.]

[Private to Coyolxauhqui | Audio]

My lady. Might I speak with you?

[Public | Audio]

It's a tradition among my people that a game, any game, whether it be mental or physical, is a struggle for survival. On a board or on a court. ...Interesting game that Coyolxauhqui held. Captain Hunt usually requested games of basketball. I think he would have been a bit disappointed had anyone come out with broken ribs [Put off by the violence? Nah. Worried about some people? Maybe.].

Could someone escort me to the CES?

[Private to Braxiatel and Cissie | Audio]

Are you recovering?

[Inmate Filter | Video]

Who else were fathers or took care of children? I am one, but I would like to know who else is available.

[Adult Warden Filter | Video]

I would like to have access to some of the art supplies in the art therapy room. Not the paint [Oh dear sweet lord, not the paint] but pencils and paper. Commander Tucker and Martha Jones seemed to enjoy movies if there are any appropriate for children. [Child distractions on starship might become very important.]

[Private to Torres, Tyr, Tirion, and Una | Video]

[All separate messages. He knows Tyr will probably lie, actually any one of them could, but he has to check anyway. This is how this works.] I want to make sure you're still alright and safe.

[Private to Braxiatel | Audio]

Is it going well? [He suspects Brax might be on the verge of a mental breakdown.] I've seen no sign of my warden and given that he changes forms, I'm not sure what I should be looking for. [Please tell me if you see him?]

[Private to Braxiatel | Text]

My warden has left. I am currently at your disposal.

[Private to Una | Audio]

My warden has gone. I still would like to go to the CES, if it wouldn't raise an issue.