[Dylan opens his hand at Rhade's touch, just like Rhade once had. The two stones are close and huddled protected by their joined hands.]

Thanks. I think. Aside from the clumsy and oafish part. [He smiles crookedly. He knows that he still doesn't always pick up on every nuance of Rhade's words, so he knows that Rhade isn't saying anything that isn't true.]

I'm willing to agree that the hotel was responsible for a lot of bad things. And if you absolve me of guilt, I absolve you right back.

[And then, more seriously.]

I don't like seeing you hurt.

I don't like you seeing me hurt. [He says in a vague attempt to be cheeky himself, but he knows it's true on more levels than he's ever willing to admit.

He pulls his hand back hesitantly, fingers lingering for a moment.] It still hurts, though. I'm still adjusting. [Especially his hands. And that fear of loss.

But he finally picks up a black stone and idly puts it on the board. He's not eager to play, but he's still in the game.]

If there's anything I can do to help, you know you only need to ask.

[Dylan picks up a black stone, too, and places it on the board next to Rhade's. Then he pushes the bowl of white stones towards Rhade. He'll place a white stone on his next turn. This way they're playing, but not against each other, just against the board. Dylan doesn't know if it'll work out but he's in a mood to give it a try.]

Edited (words) 2012-11-25 04:21 am (UTC)

You should know me better than that. I'm too stubborn. [He's joking, but the touch of grating tiredness to the tone shows there's still not much humor in it. It's difficult to be humorous after a port like that.

But then he thinks about asking something. He's hesitant, but he might as well. He's not sure of what he should do with that white stone, it doesn't feel like his. He places it on the board anyway, though.

Then that same pride he was just mentioning abruptly gets in his way and he can't.]

[For a moment, Dylan thinks that Rhade is actually going to ask for something, despite his acknowledged stubbornness just a few seconds before. And then the moment passes and Rhade asks for nothing.]

What?

[Dylan takes a white stone and puts it on the board.]

[This isn't what he was going to ask for, not really. But while he's here...]

Do you recall that time that we both were in the bar fight? The one that we never really discussed? [For many, many reasons.]

We were in a lot of bar fights. Usually your fault.

[Although there was one that was definitely more notable than the rest.]

I think I know which one you're talking about, though. [The awkward one that they didn't talk about. Until now, that is.]

[He doesn't know how exactly to approach it now that he's dove in. But what he does want is Dylan to have his memories of Sarah untainted.]

I knew you were drunk and I was sober long before you were. I was responsible for my actions. It was extremely inappropriate of me.

[He doesn't say that he'd been tempted to spread a rumor, to leak evidence so they'd lose their commission in a fit of Stark's fury. If he had his way, neither one of them would have been "the One" that Trance wanted.]

I did it because I was selfish. It's one of the unfortunate things about being friends with a Nietzschean. [He tips his head with a light shrug.] But I should have had more respect for you.

[And that's why he didn't ask Dylan to spend the night, as he thought about doing a few minutes before.]

I...uh...

[Dylan's not quite sure what to do with this apology.]

I wasn't so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing. It was my fault as much as yours.

It was a long time ago. Is there a particular reason you're bringing it up now? [Dylan has the feeling Rhade is trying to indirectly say something here.]

[Contrary to what Dylan believes, to Nietzscheans intimacy is sacred (among legitimately superior Nietzscheans, that is, as far as Rhade's concerned). To get what he wanted, he connived and he cheated and he tricked. Maybe, no matter what he feels, he doesn't deserve to follow through on that. Even if Sarah is no longer in the picture.]

You were a man of your word and I had no doubt you loved her. So I wanted you to know.

[The man he loved and betrayed. He has to negotiate in his mind so he won't be pining after something he can't have. He just addresses it, and brushes it under the carpet before scooting the white bowl back towards Dylan.]

Your move.

[Dylan runs a hand over the lower half of his face.]

I told her. I had to. I couldn't marry her if I was lying to her. So I told her what had happened. She was upset, and she had every right to be. But we worked it out in the end.

She said that if she ever met a sexy Nietzschean, she got a free pass for sleeping with him once if she wanted to. I never knew if she was joking or not.

[He takes a white piece and places it.]

[For a moment, Rhade looks like he's trying to hide his face behind the upper tier of the game board as he reaches for the black stones. He is. There's a look of embarrassment. He kept the secret like it was something dirty and illicit all that time, careful not to mention it, deciding ultimately not to use it to free himself of his Commonwealth and Nietzschean obligations because it seemed wrong.

And she knew.

He clears his throat.] Well, then. I suppose it doesn't matter.

[It's never mattered as much as he thought it did, and by the time he pulls back up his face is schooled into normalcy.] She did. She married Ishmael, if he qualifies. At least in my timeline. [He places his next stone.] You're even.

It matters. That why I had to tell her. Because it did matter.

But I didn't tell anyone else, and neither did she.

[He barks a laugh then at Rhade's news about Sarah's husband.]

You Nietzscheans. Genetically designed to be irresistible as well as sneaky.

I would say on our more fortunate days, but we're supposed to make our own.

[He's not very good at that.] I'm glad it was resolved though. Something else I can put behind me. Thank you.

[He pushes the bowl back towards Dylan.]

[He takes another piece and pushes the bowl back to Rhade.]

I guess if there's one thing to be glad about that last port for, it's that it gave us a reason to get all this out.

And, yeah, I'm looking for a bit of silver lining in a really terrible cloud. [He says defiantly.] And I bet you're not even surprised that I am.

No. I'm not. But don't be disappointed if I'm not really up for it. [He can feel the ache in his hands as he goes for the white bowl again.]

I'm not disappointed.

[He intercepts Rhade's hand at the bowl and gently holds his fingers. He remembers seeing them wrecked and it was awful.]

I'm just glad you're safe and fixed up.

[The motion startles him, and he doesn't know why. It's more gentle than Dylan usually is with him. Like his hand on his chest as he was dying.

He doesn't jump, though, and shortly after curls his fingers loosely around Dylan's.]

...Silver Lining. I'm glad you didn't listen to the hotel. [Not in the end. Dylan still came running.] Now we've managed to save each other again. [He hazards a friendly attempt on his charming smile.]

[Dylan smiles back.]

I sure prefer a pattern of saving each other to the other pattern the universe was throwing at us for a while.

[As comforting as it is, he realizes he's been holding his hand too long, and he pulls Dylan's closer to him.

Then playfully threatens to bite his knuckles.]

[Dylan laughs and pulls his hand out of mouth range.]

If you're hungry, just say so.

[He likes this. He likes this better than resenting Dylan for not noticing, or constantly worrying about failing him. Or harming him. This is much better than he last remembered.

He tips his head.] I'll remember that when I need someone to make a run to the kitchen for me. [And then his friendly smile drifts to something more muted.

Yes, he can just accept what he has; a good friend who thinks that he's a good man. That's all he ever needed, and more than most Nietzscheans ever achieve in their lifetimes. In that he's already a success.]

[Dylan's grin widens.]

I didn't say I'd get you food. I just want warning so I can keep all my limbs safely out of the way.

[Nah, he'd get Rhade something from the kitchen if asked. But not without teasing.]

Going back on your implied promises now, hmm? Nietzscheans have been rubbing off on you. [His smile holds with some determination as he decides that he does like this feeling. He just has to do his very best not to think so highly of him.]

[Rhade's innocent (maybe innocent) comment makes inappropriate thoughts pop into his head.

And then, like a nova bomb going off in his head, it hit him. A dozen little hints fell into place. Things Rhade had said, gestures made, glances.

"It's one of your more striking attributes."

"When we fell asleep in your room, he came to ask you a question and... misconstrued what was going on..."

"It's not that you trust me, it's that you make assumptions about me."

"Dylan, I played Go with a hologram modeled after you for over a year because I couldn't stand what I'd done to you."

"For the past year and a half I've talked myself into not attempting to ever come and find you..."

"It's difficult, sometimes. I know where you are, but I can't be with you. Perhaps, though.... when I know you've succeeded, I'll have reason to come find you."

And then he knew. Not a suspicion, or a hunch. One second he was ignorant and then he *knew*. Like the information had been dropped into his head.

Now if only he knew what to do about it.

He realizes that he's been staring at Rhade and not saying anything for ten seconds. He shakes himself out of his frozen state.]

Uh...yeah. [What had Rhade just said? That's right, Nietzscheans rubbing off on him.] You know what they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Fight fire with fire...