truth_is_cold

079

[Private to Dylan | Audio]

I would like to discuss something with you. It relates to Harper, and what just happened to the ship. I've been reminded of it lately and I've been slightly distracted by spiders until now.

[Private to Toshiko | Audio]

I would like to ask you some questions about what happened with the ship. I'm curious about how it might share similarities to an incident that happened aboard the Andromeda.

[Private to Ben | Audio]

I need to speak to you about something. It has to do with Ladd. [Because he hates when the universe rewards bad behavior for some and tells others that they're only good dead.]

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[He drums his fingers.] I'll bring up what I know. Do you think you could possibly find harder physical evidence?

I can look through my hard copy files and see if I find anything useful. It might take a while. They aren't very organized. I always relied on Rommie for that. But I might have a log of some of Harper's escapades.

I miss the Andromeda.

[The admission is grim. He knows she would hate him if she ever saw him again; he robbed her of her crew, her family, the people that took care of her and she in turn nurtured.]

But she always did like you better. Ships have never been very fond of me.

I don't think she disliked you. Well, maybe after... [He twirls his hands around each other as if to indicate that they both know where that sentence is going so no need to finish it.] I bet she was pissed then.

But if the rebellion hadn't happened and if you'd taken command after I retired, I bet she would have bonded with you.

And if you ever came back and I explained things to her, I think she'd forgive you. [Maybe. She'd at least try for Dylan's sake.]

I don't think she would. Even when she understood me most, she didn't like my company as much. You were humorous with her. I was just a Nietzschean on a warship.

[He quirks a slight frown.]

You were a Nietzschean on a warship. That doesn't mean she disliked you for it. I was just a human on a warship.

Although...she might have...liked me more than is usual for a ship to like a captain. [Dylan's a bit awkward saying it, because a romantic relationship between a ship and a captain is all kinds of problematic, and he's seen first hand with the Pax Magellanic what terrible problems it can cause. And he and Rommie never were anything but professional, but sometimes there was an undercurrent...]

But you'd have been a good captain and she'd have been loyal to you.

She did. [He says that with certainty; even when he was a Commander, he could see that.]

I never gave myself the chance to be in command of her at the time of the Rebellion. I was due to take command in a few months. If I had waited, I could have simply led her into battle of my own accord.

I don't suppose I wanted command.

Are you happier being a Collector? Is it better than being a High Guard officer?

[Dylan had chosen a soldier's career, and he was good at it and he didn't regret it, but he was ready and eager to leave it all behind and retire four years ago. He thinks he might be a bit envious of Rhade's change of career.]

I can't complain.

It's not as slow as you might think. As we're in the middle of the Fall and working on a schedule, we have to appropriate what we can while we can. We also have to cut off various slipstream routes before they can expose us to invading Prides.

Also I have to keep everyone from knowing that I'm alive.

[In a word? Yes, he enjoys it.] Also, with no Admiral dispatching orders, I can spend as much time with my family as I want and go on another mission when I'm prepared to.

Sounds like a good time.

You know, I didn't expect that I'd love not taking orders as much as I did, but...I did. It's a shame that it took the fall of civilization for me to realize that. Once the New Commonwealth was in place, I ended up mutinying because, well, mostly because they were being jackasses, but it was easier to do because I'd gotten so used to not taking orders from far away higher ups.

It's a surprisingly nice feeling, isn't it. [He gives Dylan a fond look.] And it's different when Braxiatel gives me an order because I'm-

[Then there's awkwardness. He doesn't want to finish that sentence. Mr. Love is Magic here, having to be reminded that out there there is someone else that Rhade loves. Someone that he can't be physical with, but there is an emotional connection there. Because I'm doing it for someone I love, is a much nicer sentiment, though.

[He smiles impishly and finishes the sentence for him.]

It's easier because you know that he cares for your offspring and is genetically tied to you and helps to ensure that your genes will be carried down and so prove evolutionarily superior?

[He has a pretty good guess that Rhade loves Braxiatel. And it's MAGIC. But as it turns out, there's a lot of magic to go around.]

[He gives Dylan a chiding look.]

Isn't that the same thing as love? [Dryly.]

I also have confidence in Braxiatel's intelligence independently of rank. I couldn't do that for any Admiral. I'm sorry that I didn't do the same for you until it was too late for us.

[And not blaming the universe, or Trance. He's acknowledging again that it was his blind faith in his people over someone that he knew personally- something that Nietzsche specifically advised against, that made them both suffer.]

[He looks down at his knees at Rhade's apology. He's forgiven Rhade completely, but he can't stop regretting what happened.]

I can admit I was pretty naive back then. [Believing (hoping) that maybe the Magog would make a treaty in good faith.]

But even if the rebellion hadn't worked and the Commonwealth hadn't fallen, civilization would have been destroyed. The Spirit of the Abyss would have seen to that.

I saw it in an alternate reality.

So if you hadn't...done what you did, maybe we could've died happy, but the universe would have been screwed.

Dylan, I died about as happily as any Nietzschean could manage. [Because Dylan was alive.] And then I even got the chance to try again.

[This time he puts a hand on his shoulder, coaxing Dylan to look at him.]

[Dylan looks up at Rhade's urging.]

Nice as dying happy is, I'm glad you're alive.

I prefer living happily [He stands up, going to get them something to drink.]. Why were you asking about my life as a Collector? [He asks while his back is to Dylan.]

[Dylan shrugs even though Rhade can't see him.]

I dunno. I was thinking about my retirement. [He laughs a little.] Which might be optimistic of me to assume that I'll get one, but you know me. Being a Collector sounds like a nice job.

[He comes back with a glass and gives to Dylan, and as calmly as he sat beside him before sits down straddling his lap.] It seems dubious in your time but I'll try to make sure there's less of that.

Braxiatel offered to... assist with your memories if you lose them again.

[And Rhade was okay with Braxiatel infiltrating Dylan's mind. It's for good reasons, after all.]

[Dylan takes the drink in one hand and casually puts the other on Rhade's hip. His eyebrows go up at the offer of "memory assistance." He gets the feeling that Rhade's not talking about Brax's giving him hypnotic therapy with a watch on a chain dangling in front of his face.]

How...generous of him?

I'm thinking save the universe, then go back in time and help you help me set up things so past me can save the universe in the future.

[And that sentence requires him to take a big drink.]

It's that "save the universe" part of the plan that's really giving me problems.

Edited (html fail) 2013-04-17 03:58 (UTC)

It depends on how much you're still against cheating, considering- [He fidgets with the collar of Dylan's shirt, straightening it.] -I have access to a time machine if it's necessary.

[He knows Dylan has come around more to the idea, just not how much.] And you would be dealing with two men that don't like to place bets without having some control of the odds.

[That much about Rhade would never change.]

[Dylan smiles crookedly.]

After these last four years, if I place bets I think I'd like to have control of the odds, the table, and hell maybe even the whole damn gambling hall. [Founding a New Commonwealth was itself nothing less than imposing his will on the universe to change the rules of the game.]

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079

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